Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. Heb. 10:35.
There was a vision given a long time ago, recorded in one of the first books that was given to this church by the special gift that God provided. It's found in the book Early Writings, page 269 and onward. It was a vision of what would take place in the lives of people just before Jesus comes.
We have sometimes spent a lot of time studying and discussing what is going to happen politically and internationally at the very end. But it is even more interesting to notice what happens internally and experientially to the people of God. You may want to study the whole chapter, entitled "The Shaking," on your own. But notice parts of it here.
"I saw some, with strong faith and agonizing cries, pleading with God." What kind of faith? Strong faith! Don't miss that. "Their countenance were pale and marked with deep anxiety, expressive of their internal struggle....Large drops of perspiration fell from their foreheads."
This description can be extremely encouraging. Have you ever had the idea that people who are experiencing deep anxiety and internal struggles were people who were far from God? Have you ever thought that anxiety and struggle were signs of lack of faith? That if you had strong faith, you would never experience this sort of agony? Not so. You can be strong in faith and still have deep anxiety!
Then it says, "Now and then their faces would light up with the marks of God's approbation." When? All the time? No, only now and then. "And again the same solemn, serious, anxious look would settle upon them. Evil angels crowded around, pressing darkness upon them to shut out Jesus." Notice their main purpose--to shut out Jesus from the believers' view. "As these praying ones continued their earnest cries, at times a ray of light from Jesus came to them, to encourage their hearts." Not all the time, but only at times.
When the heavens are as brass over your head, take courage. It is not an evidence of defective faith on your part. You don't have to add to the struggle and anxiety that you experience by berating yourself for your lack of faith. As you continue to seek Jesus, and continue your earnest pleading with Him, rays of light from Jesus will again come to encourage your heart.