WHOSE FAULT FOR FEELING BAD?
"I hold on to my integrity and will not let it go; my conscience does not accuse me, not one single day." Job 27:6, Berkeley.
A teenage boy spends the whole evening watching a lightweight television program rather than doing his homework. The next morning in an innocent gesture of caring, Dad asks him if his assignments are ready for school. Junior exploded in touchy self-defense. He sulks off to school, wondering why everyone is always "down on his case."
Those of us who have survived the testy years " 'tween 12 and 20" know why he feels that way. We know that, in truth, it is his own sense of self-esteem, that has judged him the most severely. Dad simply touched the raw nerve, calling him to have to reckon with the obvious.
Self-worth stands, as it were, on the three-legged stool. The first leg is built on God's opinion of us--His prizing of us as His bought-back friends. His forgiveness, His caring involvement, His constancy, all stand like pillars in our lives. Though this leg of the stool is as strong as carbon steel, it has the disadvantage of also being the most abstract or intangible, especially for a young person.
The second leg of the stool is made up of the opinions of other people toward us. Few things can shape our self-image more powerfully and immediately than concern for how we are valued by others. The potency of this support in our lives is counterbalanced by the fact that we often have little control over how others view us--since they are usually consumed with protecting their own self-image!
The third leg of the stool is very largely under our own control. It has to do with our own appraisal of our abilities to live a useful, purposeful, controlled life. If we spend our days in lazy indulgence, dissipating our energies into frivolous thrills, we can't feel good about ourselves. Our own conscience will be active in condemning us.
Yet how quick we are to blame those feelings of condemnation on God! Or, realizing that the church upholds principles of usefulness and rightness, we feel that the church is a condemning power in our lives--and avoid it. But it is not fair to blame God, religion, or the Bible for the reproach of our own hearts. Rather our hearts should cherish God's righteous ways.
"I hold on to my integrity and will not let it go; my conscience does not accuse me, not one single day." Job 27:6, Berkeley.
A teenage boy spends the whole evening watching a lightweight television program rather than doing his homework. The next morning in an innocent gesture of caring, Dad asks him if his assignments are ready for school. Junior exploded in touchy self-defense. He sulks off to school, wondering why everyone is always "down on his case."
Those of us who have survived the testy years " 'tween 12 and 20" know why he feels that way. We know that, in truth, it is his own sense of self-esteem, that has judged him the most severely. Dad simply touched the raw nerve, calling him to have to reckon with the obvious.
Self-worth stands, as it were, on the three-legged stool. The first leg is built on God's opinion of us--His prizing of us as His bought-back friends. His forgiveness, His caring involvement, His constancy, all stand like pillars in our lives. Though this leg of the stool is as strong as carbon steel, it has the disadvantage of also being the most abstract or intangible, especially for a young person.
The second leg of the stool is made up of the opinions of other people toward us. Few things can shape our self-image more powerfully and immediately than concern for how we are valued by others. The potency of this support in our lives is counterbalanced by the fact that we often have little control over how others view us--since they are usually consumed with protecting their own self-image!
The third leg of the stool is very largely under our own control. It has to do with our own appraisal of our abilities to live a useful, purposeful, controlled life. If we spend our days in lazy indulgence, dissipating our energies into frivolous thrills, we can't feel good about ourselves. Our own conscience will be active in condemning us.
Yet how quick we are to blame those feelings of condemnation on God! Or, realizing that the church upholds principles of usefulness and rightness, we feel that the church is a condemning power in our lives--and avoid it. But it is not fair to blame God, religion, or the Bible for the reproach of our own hearts. Rather our hearts should cherish God's righteous ways.
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