Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Matt. 16:24, NKJV.
When Jesus "began to teach them that the Son of man must suffer many things...and be killed" (Mark 8:31, RSV), He was truly only commencing His instruction, because a new understanding of Messiahship dictates a new perspective of discipleship. And if the new interpretation of Messiahship was distasteful to Peter and the others, the new concept of discipleship would be equally abhorrent. "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."
That verse contains two of the most difficult words that a person will ever have to face--"deny" and "cross." When we think of self-denial we imagine abstinence from certain luxuries for a certain period of time, while at the same time, perhaps, congratulating ourselves on how well we are doing in being self-controlled and/or generous.
But that is far from what Jesus meant by "deny." It is a sharp and demanding word. One scholar suggests that in verse 24 it means "to forget one's self, lose sight of one's self and one's interests."
Another writer points out that "the denial of self is something deeper" than mere self-denial. "It is making ourselves not an end, but a means, in the kingdom of God. It is subordinating the clamoring ego, with its shrill claim for priority, its preoccupation with 'I,' 'me,' and 'mine,' its concern for self-assertion, its insistence on comfort and prestige; denying self, not for the sake of denial as a sort of moral athletics, but for Christ's sake, for the sake of putting the self into his cause."
Thus there is a massive difference between self-denial and denying one's self. The first is a minor surface operation, while the second is a matter of the heart--or, more specifically, a change of heart.
Here is a place where each of us followers of Jesus needs to become more transparent, more honest. Jeremiah tells us that "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt" (Jer. 17:9, RSV). The last thing that my heart wants to do is to realize that denial of the self stands at the center of being a genuine Christian.