LOVE IS MUTUAL
We should keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, who himself said, "Happiness lies more in giving than in receiving." Acts 20:35, N.E.B.
From childhood we have heard that JOY is an acronym meaning Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. It implies that true joy is found when one seeks Jesus first, then always sets aside one's own needs in favor of the needs of another. And--generally speaking--that is true.
But consider, for example, the experience of a young man who fell in love with a young woman and devoted himself fully to meeting her needs. So convinced was he that joy could be found only in unselfishly loving her that he felt guilty even evaluating how well she met his needs. After a while the relationship seemed to become more of a duty than a delight, but he had read that it is more blessed to give than to receive, and so he persisted in the increasingly empty relationship.
Then it dawned upon him that she too needed to give! She also must feel that her life was potent, by being a valuable giver within the friendship. So he began to speak openly with her about the needs for understanding and encouragement that he brought to the friendship, and affirming her power to meet those needs. And the zest returned to their times together!
The best relationships are those that involve mutuality--where we are consciously aware that we are both giving to the other and being blessed by the other. It means that we are trusting our God-given capacities to bring joy and healing to another and that we openly avow God's plan to represent Himself to us through other humans who are in close fellowship with us.
But this concept--this lived experience--of mutuality takes on exciting dimensions when we consider that we are created in the image of God. That the desires and capacities for mutuality reflect His own heart. That He not only takes delight in giving to us, but He wants us to be delighted with the awareness that we are giving to Him through our relationship with Him!
It is still true that it is more blessed to give than to receive. But it is also true that God gives to us in order to restore in us the capacity to give back to Him--to give the delights of mutual fellowship for which He created us.
We should keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, who himself said, "Happiness lies more in giving than in receiving." Acts 20:35, N.E.B.
From childhood we have heard that JOY is an acronym meaning Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. It implies that true joy is found when one seeks Jesus first, then always sets aside one's own needs in favor of the needs of another. And--generally speaking--that is true.
But consider, for example, the experience of a young man who fell in love with a young woman and devoted himself fully to meeting her needs. So convinced was he that joy could be found only in unselfishly loving her that he felt guilty even evaluating how well she met his needs. After a while the relationship seemed to become more of a duty than a delight, but he had read that it is more blessed to give than to receive, and so he persisted in the increasingly empty relationship.
Then it dawned upon him that she too needed to give! She also must feel that her life was potent, by being a valuable giver within the friendship. So he began to speak openly with her about the needs for understanding and encouragement that he brought to the friendship, and affirming her power to meet those needs. And the zest returned to their times together!
The best relationships are those that involve mutuality--where we are consciously aware that we are both giving to the other and being blessed by the other. It means that we are trusting our God-given capacities to bring joy and healing to another and that we openly avow God's plan to represent Himself to us through other humans who are in close fellowship with us.
But this concept--this lived experience--of mutuality takes on exciting dimensions when we consider that we are created in the image of God. That the desires and capacities for mutuality reflect His own heart. That He not only takes delight in giving to us, but He wants us to be delighted with the awareness that we are giving to Him through our relationship with Him!
It is still true that it is more blessed to give than to receive. But it is also true that God gives to us in order to restore in us the capacity to give back to Him--to give the delights of mutual fellowship for which He created us.
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